Of why, this person, is a Christian. Not that I didn't doubt it myself before, to be honest to you.
There are many religions on planet earth, and the universe is vast, to big and to plenty to measure and count.
In Indonesia alone, 6 religion is legal and acknowledged by the country, on another country another different religion were affirmed by the law.
Too many belief systems, why limit myself to plain old boring church tales?
To be very honest with you, despite born in a Christian family (both my parents are Christian, and yes you can, being Christian doesn't instantly guarantee you being a good person). I had my fair share of believing in religions.
That time when I go to Langkat for pabbajja for 5th grade graduation elementary school. Pabbajja is a 'lower ordination' in Buddhist terminology, despite being a Christian by birth, I got my head shaved, and renounce the secular world for at least 10 days, meditating as a novice monk, chanting paritta. If that counts, and I bet that counts as me vowing before buddha that I lay myself under the umbrella of dharma.
I remember my freshly shaven bald and chubby younger me, taking the three vow and was given monk garment, doning the monk robe.
"buddhang saranang gacchami, dhammang saranang gacchami, sanghang saranang gacchami"
That's the very first vow that any novice monk candidate spoken when they first ordinated. Meaning respectively the layperson proclaiming that they came to take refuge under the buddha, his teaching which is dharma, and the community of monks that teach the dharma.
Of course it's just a spoken words.
But spiritually speaking, words contain power within it, the intention behind the spoken words are a fuel for something done beyond the mortal realm.
By saying that mantra in the past, I can be said, surrendering myself under the buddha, his teaching, and his disciples.
Spiritually speaking, I really take refuge under buddhism. More than over, being a novice monk, learning dharma, didn't I get a view and glimpses of what buddhism is and their version of truth.
In that sense alone, until that conclusion in the past, technically I come in contact with Buddhism.
And then, the day when I went to taoist temple and pray for this deity or that deity for numerous time, and which they really came into my dreams, teaching me taoist magic and many occult stuffs. Didn't I also learnt about the Tao version of their so called 'truth' back then?
Doesn't that make me a taoist practitioner? Yes I was indeed, sadly.
When I chanted om and meditate using the dharani mantra, and did yoga, didn't I also learned about hinduism indirectly back then? By which I already did, and was once put to practice for quite some time.
When I casted some sigils invoking Astaroth, which whom I made a pact with in order for me to gain magic. Didn't I also know and learn to be aware of the version of proclaimed as 'truth' being advertised by the satanists? I did and I was indeed.
Back when I was in seminary, I also read the qur'an and become to know about islamic view and version of truth, and back in elementary, the school is a catholic school, meaning I did went to cathedral and receive my first holy communion from a priest.
I can rightly said, I've experienced quite a few religions, systems of beliefs, theological doctrines from different beliefs. And also learned by researching about a few minor religions during my 2 years of being satanist focusing on magical religions. The voodoo from Africa, the hoodoos from the mix-mashed voodo derivatives.
The hoo'pono-pono of Hawaiian, and even the kejawen of Javanese Hinduism and Islamic assimilation, which weirdly familiar with Taoism, since the goals is the pretty much the same, manunggaling kawulo gusti (the unification of the created being with the one and only God), same with taoist whom pursue the unification of man and Tao, the representative of the ultimate Truth, pretty seemingly same with God under other religion's sense.
So, I've been to know and not just stopping there, but also learned deeper about each and every religion there is.
There is one silver lining here.
If you know that satanic belief is the antithesis of Christianity, that their followers wilfully worship satan as their god. Then, there is one hidden Truth there.
The Bible said, that satan is the old snake from the Genesis, the very same snake that tempted Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge.
According to Jesus, satan is a liar, and the father of all lies.
Orthodox Christianities, meaning those long dead ancestors during the 3rd century till the 18th century, believe that all paganism are false beliefs.
And they just stopped there, without truly try to discern where the belief is wrong biblically speaking.
They just claimed that if you worship god, more than one, than big chance, your religion is wrong, and you're a pagan.
If your god isn't Jesus, then pagan, off to the stake to be burn, the gallows to be hanged, and so on.
But where does the wrong beliefs are, nobody knows.
By that very standard, doesn't that make old age Christianity the same class with today's Islamic fanatics?
*I don't care, and I don't want to know, your religion is wrong, mine is right*
Sounds familiar eh?
So, let me return to my middle ground of arguments and my starting line before fully and wholeheartedly being a Christian.
As my years are still green at that time, I know that my argument were not rock-solid, but I believe that's where God come into play, sustaining my faith in Him.
It is simply, grace.
Christianity claimed that satan is a liar, and he is a liar indeed.
He lied through and through, the angel of darkness enshrouded themselves under the cloak of light, pretending to be the light.
That is the truth.
The satanists claimed that the true god of this world is satan, and the God from the bible is stealing all the limelight from satan.
Half of it is true at least. Satan was and still is indeed the ruler of this world at the moment, just for now at the very least.
So, to those atheist, they can have some candy before leaving my post.
That the universe exist is a proof that someone created it, at the very least something. But because God isn't a thing, and the only gender neutral pronouns available in English language is 'it', and God isn't an 'it', God is a person, so we address God as a He, as Jesus also proclaim God as the Father, then God is indeed 'He'.
God exist, you and me doesn't exist if there is no universe to begin with, and because the universe is there, then it means something or someone must have been doing the creation of it.
That is another truth.
No, and still no, thank you, very well goodbye, my scientific atheist nerd friends, as a nerd myself, I did my homework properly too myself.
If we use the arguments about big bang, that the latest claims believe that the big star that went 'BANG' is rather yet another universe, a previous version of universe, and our universe is probably universe 2.0, or somewhere along the line.
Still a no, the universe must have come out from one point of start. Be it gravity like the M and Q theory dictates, still, gravity came out from something, hence another point for creationists.
So, dear atheist friends let's eat your candy and start listening to me, stop complaining from the corner where you hug your knees there.
Where was I? Aah yes, universe is there because God made it.
If God is the side responsible for creation, it means, everything within the creation must not be above the creator, hence we called God as Creator.
If we try to conceptualised the Creator and try to sum a description for it, then one thing for sure, the Creator must be out of those things and not limited by those things they created.
Now, everything under the sky, above the sky, and beyond it is created. Time, gravity, space and everything is created. So God is for sure beyond and above them all.
The satanists claimed that God isn't really a good one, and they claim the true god is satan.
Well, that's a lie for sure. As for another beliefs from another religion, they too are found faulty in the end of the day.
Buddha said that God exist, but Buddha said rather than busying ourselves to try to find God, which is impossible, because God is beyond all creation, hence impossible to find. Let's focus on our lives, our samsara, our kleshas that bounds us to be reincarnated and built up karmas to define our life cycle of reincarnations. Let's forget them all and let's try to be buddha.
Nah, I'm not gonna follow the person who try to create a new stream beyond the preexisting law of universe just because he claimed that he is awakened and founded a new path of liberation, doesn't really mean that he is right.
Then Islam, is basically a late comer borrowing many scriptures passage from the Torah and the Bible.
And then this madmen claimed that the previous preexisting religion which they copy-pasted the scriptures from are in the wrong.
Sane? Are you drunk? Did they drink too much from just water and got drunk so they babbling nonsense?
The Taoist believe that the origin of everything is Tao, and we don't know what it's name, so we only called them "Tao" (literal meaning is "road" or "the way")
Tao created everything within the universe and Tao is the source of everything, and everything under creation reflects the Tao contained within them.
Jesus said, that He is "The Way, The Truth, And Life"
Why does it so hard to just accept it, He repeatedly argues and that He really is the Way, the Tao, if you may say, for He came from above to spoke about what's really there above. But the world refuse to believe them.
Yes, satan is indeed the current ruler of this world, for now.
He lied and lied and lay low undercover as deities from other belief systems. Proclaiming himself and his cronies as deities.
That, until the truest Way come to make the truth came out for all to see.
...
Now, this following statement of mine, can be a bit controversial and have no other basis to claim as a comparison as these are basically a subjective experience, based on a hypothesis that I came to term from my personal experience. They are prone to be faulty in the sense of an argument, of that I'm fully aware of.
As you know, I can see things not many can see.
In blatant way of laying it out to you, I can see ghosts, and many things which usually reside in the spiritual dimension.
You might say that I was too young to know, and as any young children, it is hard to differentiate between reality and imagination.
Sadly, if what you say is a mere kid vivid imagination, why does they persist until this very day where I'm a full grown adult, believing that logical thinking and scientific data are important to proof an argument.
Yes, I am a bit sensitive about this topic myself, if you ask me, I'm a bit reluctant to say that I can, because that's a start for a long taunting and jeer in today's modern society.
But for argument and explanation sake, let's continue.
I am born with what the secular neo-spiritualism called 'gift'.
I can only borrow this term, sixth sense.
Because those innate capacities fall under those categories.
I can dream of things before it occurs, so all my childhood was filled with me suspecting my dream and real life. Because when I experienced something, the sense of deja vu is often, I felt that I already experienced this thing, but where and when, I cannot explain quite well.
But yes, I've experienced them in my dream two or three days ahead, that is quite the norm for me.
I can see things that is not physically there, and I can communicate with those beings.
That's why I am dragged toward occultism in my teens.
So, to put them on a simpler term, I was born with an acute intuition. By which, enable me to be in tune with some things and frequency which most normal day average human were unable to.
I remember when my grandmother's older brother passed away, the night after his burial. I dreamt that he is riding a bike with me sitting on the post behind his seat, he brought me to buy snacks, it was back in 1995, where inflation isn't really there yet.
A small bottle of cola is around Rp.1000,- approximately 10 cents in todays USD, or around 50 cents in that years IDR-USD currency exchange rate.
What intriguing in that dream is, the price of the sodas, one was Rp.14,- and the other bottle is priced Rp.11,-
In that dream this oldest grandpa (according to the Chinese hierarchy of addressing title), looked at me with a serious look, and repeated to me the price of the soda.
Like "Josh, this one is Rp.11, and this one is Rp.14," while staring at me in a serious manner.
The next morning, I told the story to my mom, which relayed to her aunt, my other grandmother, who sell lottery, the kind of gambling which was common back then.
And you might guess it already, that's the winning lotto number that day, the sum of those number, 25 is the winning number.
My grandma and aunt treats me with 3 sticks of ice cream that day, because that dream turn out to be a real lotto's winning dream.
That's one example from many other, of how my intuitive nature, were able to somehow explain things not yet occurs, way before they come into existence.
And this very series of innate capacities, is what drawn me towards the magic and stuffs.
As I come to know about satanism ideology, the previous facade of this ghost and that deities were suddenly unveiled.
I now know that what turn to be this taoist deity that went to visit my dream, was actually a form of mask an angel of satan used to ease me with their agenda, drawing me toward occult art.
Those forms of demonic beings in mythology and traditional folklore, were actually none other but those fallen angels, trying to scare people out of their sense, and by doing such, using fear, making people to obey them, and suchalikes.
And here where I came to term with Christianity.
When I try to compare or making any comparisons within my mind, about which claim from which beliefs saying that their gods is the truest god, then according to the hidden secret in satanic belief, the other deity from other religions turned out to be a demon on disguise, except One, well actually Three in One, but that's a topic of controversy even amongst Christian themselves.
But yes, all turns out to be deceiving, except One, the God from the Bible is the only God who is not a demon in disguise.
This is surely controversial for other religions beside mine, but sorry that I'm not sorry for that.
This deva, that devi, this celestial beings in that beliefs that beliefs, were actually not really who they are originally depicted in their original teaching, some deity are borrowed from another religion, another ethnic groups, preceding civilization deities that persist because their worshippers survived to the next civilization, and suchalikes.
With that, is where God took place, soon after the failed attempts to un-alive-ing myself. That's where the God that reveals Himself through Jesus, came to live in my head, mind, and soul.
Well, I dragged the entry for too long, and before I run into unnecessary conclusion trying to lure you with any pretense, let's end the post here.
If you really experienced what I did in my past, or something similar to this, somewhere along the way, and if you also arrived at the same conclusion to mine. Then you will understand what I felt in this entry, as you turned out to my brothers and sisters in Christ.
And I'm also happy for you.
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